The Pilot
Deaths and Attacks * Marsha Vane - Jessie dunked her face in the deep fryer, not knowing that someone turned it on. Her face then got fried off and died. * Shontelle - Jessie sabotaged her tanning liquid by replacing it with hydrochloric acid. Scenes Introduction Jessie: Good morning bitches. Jessie #2, #3 and #5: Good morning Jessie. Jessie: My name is Jessie Yoshida and I am an absolute queen. These are my three minions, I know their names, but I'd just like to know them as... Kumiko: Jessie #2 Yuki: Jessie #3 Caroline: Jessie #5 Jessie: I'm Jessie #1 obvi. The reason why there's no Jessie #4 is because if I had a #4 in my clique, it would be bad luck according to my culture. Us four RULED this college for obvious reasons. Last year, we were all just lame ass pledges, and now we all have full control. Meeting With The Dean Dean: Miss Yoshida, do you know why you're here? Jessie: Duh cuz I'm awesome! Dean: No, it's not that at all. You're here because you put hydrochloric acid in Shontelle Richards' tanning liquid last year. Jessie: Well the bitch deserved it after treating me and the other pledges last year, Mean Dean Lavene. Dean: Jessie, stop calling me that! Jessie: What? It totally rhymes! Dean: Ok Jessie, you have two options - I will put you and your minions on academic probation or I will let any girl become a pledge in your sorority. Choose now! Jessie: Well I would hate to be on probation. Dean: Ok, I will let anyone join your sorority. Jessie: Fine! Shontelle Gets Burned - Literally! Shontelle: My main problem about you Jessie is that you're a former nerd and fatty. I heard that when you were in 6th grade, you weighed 321lbs. And seriously, people who have been formally fat are sneaky, backstabbing bitches like you, Jessie. Jessie: Well I'm trying to fit in Shontelle, I'm so sorry. Shontelle: I'm not finished Jessie. I'm pretty sure your build is like ladyman like. The next president of this house should be able to be as pretty and fabulous as me. I'm sorry Jessie, you are no longer invited to my cruise to Miami for Spring Break. Jessie: No, please don't do this to me. Can't I at least spray tan you? I've got it all ready. Shontelle: No Jessie, now please leave! (Jessie leaves the room) Shontelle: Ok then, time to tan me. (the tanning machine is turned on and sprays Shontelle with hydrochloric acid and she screams) Introducing the Pledges Jessie: So Dean Levene made me let any girl become a pledge at my sorority. Let me introduce them. Jessie: So there's 3 British girls. One is Charlotte, who is like a total nerd. The second one is this rustic looking girl named CJ. The third one in the red hoodie is named Caitlin, I have no idea what she is but I'm pretty sure she's gay. Caitlin: Hey there. Jessie: There's some pretty normal girls who have joined. This girl named Jade seems nice, Carly is this girl who's like half chic, half nerdy, Shaelyn seems pretty cool cuz she's a cheerleader and Jocelyn is this athletic hottie. Jocelyn: Hey Jess, great to be here. Jessie: So that's seven I've introduced. There's two girls named Ashleigh and Kim who I'm pretty sure are lesbians. Kim: Hey there. Jessie: Mia is the only pledge who is actually appropriate to be one of us, but she's probably too heroic. Mia: Hey Jess! Jessie: There is also a fatty named Rebecca, a gamer blogger named Christine, a deaf girl named Sara, who is also known as Deaf Ariana Grande cuz all she can sing is Ariana Grande songs. Christine: I'm a gamer blogger. Sara: I wonder what Ariana Grande is doing right now? Jessie: And the most surprising and least fave is my younger sister Rachel-Lou. She's a stupid bitch, so I hope she gets expelled soon. Prank Plan Jessie: Hi Ms Vane. What you doing? Ms Vane: Hi Jessie, you told me to scrub all of the floors with this Lego toothbrush. Jessie: Ms Vane, this sorority is for pretty girls and cool Asian chicks only. Now I've got a plan to keep it that way, and you will be involved. If Dean Levene gets his way, Kappa house will be filled with fatties, nerds and ethnics. Ms Vane: But Jess, you're Japanese. Jessie: That's an exception cuz the Japanese are like the best type of Asian. So anyways, the fatties will bring their giant appetites, the nerds will take forever to go number one and two and the ethnics will bring their weird spices from their home countries, which means that's a lot of work for you to do with cleaning the toilets and neither of us wants that. Ms Vane: Ok Jessie: Ok, since we can't make those pledges go away, we're going to have to scare them off. That's why I'm gonna burn your face off. Ms Vane: What? No Jess. Jessie: Not for real silly, it will be pretend. So here's the plan - we get into a fight and I'm gonna dunk your head into the fryer. Ms Vane: What? No! Jessie: The oil wont be hot, it will be turned off, idiot. You'll just pretend, the pledges will start screaming and they all run off to another sorority. Sounds like a plan? It's Fry Time! (Yuki knocks on the door) Jessie: Enter if you dare. Yuki: Hey Jessie, we have some bad news. Kumiko: We found something. Caroline: #3 was on her way to the bathroom, and then she noticed that Ms Vane's door was open. (The Jessies walk into Ms Vane's room and sees a collage of Jessie's face being scribbled and scratched off) Yuki: Wow, creepy collage. (The Jessies march to the living room) Jessie: Ok sluts, so you all want to be Kappas, is that right? Well, you're about to learn what being a Kappa is all about! It's about kicking the crap out of someone who treats you like dirt. Follow me! (The Jessies and Pledges enter the kitchen) Jessie: Hey Mammy Marsha, you're about to get your ass kicked. I was just in your room where I noticed that you have a shrine with evil burning candles, pictures of me with my face scratched off, and pairs of my stolen G-strings. Care to explain, you chubby little bitch? Ms Vane: Jessie, I have no idea what you're talking about. Jessie: Now I know why your food has a little bit of poop in it. You know ladies, Ms Vane and I were simply going to pull a prank where I was going to dip her fat face in cold fry oil to scare all of you bitches, well I propose a change of plans. How about I just drown you in it, Ms Vane? (Jessie grabs Ms Vane and drowns her into the fryer as she screams) (All of the Pledges and Jessies scream) Jessie: Oh my god, who turned on the fryer?! (Ms Vane peels her burnt face off and collapses to the ground) (Everyone screams) (Jessie kicks Ms Vane twice) Jessie: She's dead! CJ: Well of course you did Jezza, you burnt her face off! Jessie: Shut up CJ, you can't die from getting your face burnt off! Carly: (cries) Yes you do. Jessie: She probably had a heart attack since she was 42. CJ: Oh my god. (walks off) Jessie: Where are you going!? CJ: To get the campus police, there is a dead woman in your kitchen! Jessie: Ms Vane was a servant, she knew the risks. CJ: I'm going to the authorities. Jessie: Fine, I'll just tell the cops that you shoved Ms Vane in the fryolater? CJ: What? You did that! Jessie: That's not how I saw it. My witnesses agree. Pledges, show of hands. Who will back up my story if I promise if at the end of the year, I get everyone really cool boyfriends? (Some of the pledges raise their hands) 20 minutes later... Jessie: Sisters and pledges of Kappa Kappa Tau, I shall share you something very precious to me. CJ: A felony? Jessie: A secret. We will remember this night for the rest of our lives. And until the day we die, we few know what we saw and what happened in the kitchen. Because if any of you tell, I will make sure you end up laying in the freezer with Ms Vane. Who wants cocktails? (All pledges except CJ cheer) Trivia * Marsha is the first person to get killed. * There was 14 pledges for Kappa Kappa Tau. ** CJ, Charlotte, Caitlin, Jocelyn, Ashleigh, Jade, Rebecca, Mia, Carly, Christine, Rachel-Lou, Sara, Kim, and Shaelyn. Gallery Marsha Jessie Collage.png|Marsha's collage of Jessie Yoshida The Pledges.png|The pledges who signed up to enter Jessie's sorority JessieMarsha.png|Jessie: Hey Mammy Marsha, you're about to get your ass kicked. I was just in your room where I noticed that you have a shrine with evil burning candles, pictures of me with my face scratched off, and pairs of my stolen G-strings. Care to explain, you chubby little bitch? Category:Season 1 Category:Episodes